Soccer AM

The next thing I know she's telling us that her family's part of the Mafia and that they're going to come looking for us!

Trev
Quotes of the week

We can't start without mentioning Matt Jansen's superb bit of showboating in the car park on Saturday.

He might have missed the target on his first attempt at Rome, but during the break he produced a bit of magic which is up there with best ever car park moments.

Luckily we kept the camera's rolling, so if you haven't seen it yet, just check out the video on the right-hand side of the page.

All in all we were pleased with the show on Saturday, but there was one glaring mistake during a VT, although Chris, James and Dave would have us believe it was a deliberate one!

Some eagle-eyed viewers spotted that Bank Manager was spelt 'Bank Manger' in the Czech sketch. When asked about it on Tuesday morning the boys remained tight lipped not wanting to stitch each other up... that is until they realised that all three of them might have to Take One for the Team!

James and Dave wasted no time in throwing Chris onto the grenade to protect their own backsides (literally), but whether or not he will face three shots at his rear end is still open for debate, although it's fair to say he's going to need a very good lawyer!

Eventful

It's been an eventful few days outside of the office as well.

Tubes walked in with a scar on his forehead after he somehow managed to fall out of bed and smash his head on a lamp.

"I knew something wasn't right when I heard him in the shower at 5am," admitted Big Ange.

"It's only a small cut," said Tubes. "I got a lot of menthol shower gel in there so I shouldn't need to go to the hospital."

A nervous Trev, meanwhile, has been watching his back after a contract was put out on his head!

After a difference of opinion about drinking outside with the landlady at his local pub, the conversation turned ugly.

"We were dinking and minding our own business when the landlady goes we have to go inside, even though she was drinking outside as well.

"The next thing I know she's telling us that her family's part of the Mafia and that they're going to come looking for us!" For Trev's sake we hope the Mafia aren't fans of the show and won't be watching this Saturday.

Star Trek

In contrast Simon's Christmases all came at once on Saturday after he finally got to see the new Star Trek film.

The huge sci-fi fan has been going on about the film for what seems like an eternity, so we're glad that it's finally over... we just hope George Lucas hasn't got any more Star Wars film up his sleeve because we'll never hear the end of that!

Meanwhile, Chris has been doing his best to beat the credit crunch. Not only has he got his own little allotment at the back of the garden, he decided it was a good idea to cut his own hair!

"My fringe was getting a bit long so I thought I'd cut it," he explained. "The only problem is I trimmed it while it was still wet and when it dried I realised I took too much off." Needless to say we haven't noticed any difference.

Livingston

Finally, Max and Baby Elvis headed to sunny Livingston on Monday to spend some time with Sky's customer service teams.

According to sources in Scotland Baby Elvis looked the part in all his gear, but shamefully moved out of the way of a number of pens from point-blank range.

Now usually we'd give him a bit of stick about something like this, but he's had a tough week already after being told he's going to be replaced by Bobbie in goal next year.

Bobbie, was less than sympathetic though and he decided it was ok to kick a man while he was down:

"How many penalties have you even saved this year?" he demanded before adding, "I'm gonna smash your record next season!"

And on that note...

See you on Saturday!